This article is part of the Roamin' Dad series.
HELLO FROM YOUR FINANCIAL FATHER!!!!!! I am striking it big these days because my current job is the pet watcher for the credit union here which means that if you come into the building with your little dog or morbid cat I hold him or her and pet them and everything while you go do your total banking solution in our office. If you sign up for a loan we give the pet a bath (run a wet rag over the pet) this almost always makes the pet feel real bad and me too. Friday was an especially bad shift because at one point I had 4 cats and 5 small to medium dogs in the Pet Pens and they started getting loud and I couldn't help but escape in my mind to the day when I will be running this horrible credit union and I will sit out in front in a lawn chair and at my command will be 2 giant arms made of pets that I will wave around to attract new cars / customers until things get real sweaty outdoors
We also have to be real careful to wash all the fruit we put out for the customers I don't want to go into detail but lets just say i had a bad dream about bad produce in the lobby and a foul mouthed homeless man eating a can of tuna out of his own sunken chest cavity.. in fact I am drawing up disaster plans for a variety of circumstances:
PLEASE JOIN MY CREDIT UNION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODBYE
Every accident will happen on a carpet or a rug 100% of the time. Even if 80% of your floors are tile. Even if 100% of your floors are tile, and you own no rugs.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
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