Approximate Snooze Hits: 40
"I earnestly think joining the military would improve my life."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 50
"I really hope there is a carbon monoxide leak to explain my general sloth behavior."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 60
"My teachers were right: I'll never achieve anything."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 70
"All I have to do is not sleep for two straight days and I'll catch right on up."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 80
"I do not deserve the sun."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 90
"Like the dried drool on my cheek, I am the worthless flaking crust of this world."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 100
"I can only speculate on the existence of Farmer's Markets and fantasize about fresh produce, but based on my actual schedule, it looks like a life of microwavable burritos for me."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 110
"This is proof that I am unable to function without my mother's assistance."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 120
"Sleeping in this late might be acceptable if last night wasn't so boring."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 130
"I'll never be able to use the Spotify playlist Indie Brunch."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 140
"I am the humanoid version of the Greek Economy."
Approximate Snooze Hits: 150
"Forget it. Today's cancelled."
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