I don't need my tactical monocular overlay to judge an untruth and when I saw that clip from 1996 of Hillary Clinton referring to black teenagers as "super-predators" I knew I had detected a whopper. As an actual super predator, I find it disgusting that Hillary Clinton would compare my capabilities to that of a juvenile human male.
The suggestion that poverty and drug culture breeds so-called "super predators" is ridiculous on its face. Super predators can only be bred by government supersoldier programs, occult rituals, the most skilled chirurgeons of the flesh choir who sing over the tissue vats of Vilexu, or created by pitting populations of criminals against each other on a harsh prison planet to select only the most ruthless for indoctrination into the predator corps.
Clearly this was an error on the part of Hillary Clinton, but when confronted with her past statements about super predators she refused to apologize for her obvious mistake. Do black teenagers have scythe arms? Plasma cannons? Can they recycle their urine 100 times before it becomes toxic to survive on a desert planet? It's ludicrous to suggest black teens are super predators. When confronted with this obvious fact by protestors, Bill Clinton supported his wife's original statement.
Since there continues to be so much confusion from the Clintons, I have decided to take precious time away from reaping the skulls of sentient prey to explain the differences between Black Teens and Super Predators.
|Enjoys a wide variety of activities such a sports, video games, reading, music, movies, social and academic pursuits.||Enjoys a singular devotion to the hunt, the pure and ultimate competition for survival between two sentient beings.|
|Thirty generations of institutional racism have made it difficult for many individuals to rise out of poverty.||A thousand generations of ritual battles have allowed only the most deadly individuals to rise out of the testing pits.|
|Eats the same wide variety of foods as most other omnivorous humans.||Eats nutripaste and drink the blood of the fallen, except for the cerebrowraiths that feed on the fear of their prey.|
|Their darker skin attracts the attention of convenience store employees who follow them relentlessly.||Color-shifting membranes allow them to conceal their presence and pursue their prey relentlessly.|
|Are capable of employing the same melee and crude projectile weapons as the rest of their species.||Equipped with a battle orb that serves as scout and assistant and can deploy traps that ensnare prey.|
|Highly vulnerable to bullets, energy attacks, blade attacks, blast-a-rang strikes, bio bore slugs, digestive vomit, decapitation drones, heartbeat-seeking micro-missiles, agony flails, phantom bone reapers, and shock rods.||Can only be killed by setting the reactor to overload.|
|"Hopped up on crack and sent out into the streets to murder other African-American children." - Slick Willie, on "Super Predators"||"There's no stopping what can't be stopped, no killing what can't be killed." - King Willie, in Predator 2|
My hunting party will now depart. I must take 600 skulls before daybreak to honor my pact. Sound like a lot? It's a living for a super predator like me.
Facebook must remain unflagging in its vigilance against titties even in these troubled times of rising fascism.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.