Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrnnnnnuuuuuuu, submitted by AAAAAAaarnnnnhh!!. Huuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarnn!! Aaaaaaaaaarrrrggh! Aaaaaaarrrggggggghhhnnnn.
I'm Leo Jean, born Prince Leopold IV of Belgium. Through my lifetime of knowledge gathering about the spirit world and, with the help of my own spirit, I have become the most powerful spiritual person on Earth, and one of the strongest spirits in the universe. This is no small feat, and my work is very demanding. After many years of healing and teaching others, I began working in a direction in which no one else dared to go. My consequent work as a spirit sayer, among many other achievements, has given me the ability to summon, communicate with and to control, when necessary, any spirit.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.