Conjoined Dreams, submitted by Karamanapath.

Hello there. You may refer to me as Doctor Mercurious Prospero, a connosieur of a particular taste. Siamese twins, conjoined twins -- call them what you will. I think of the beauties you will find here as works to be perused and appreciated.

Some of you at this point are no doubt wondering how long I've had padded wallpaper. Rest assured, I am as sane as these troubled times permit me to be. True, my sexual tastes may be a bit bizarre -- not to mention extremely hard to find in real life -- but I do not believe it is any reason to cause alarm.

Besides, I'm not unique in them.

There are those of you who, after perusing my humble offerings, will have several unflattering thoughts about me. Some may see the beauty. Others may adopt my obsession. My only hope is that everyone who visits within will come to his or her own decision, born of their own free will. Even if it's negative, I will cherish it.

Great. Cherish this. This site, dedicated to the "erotic" concept of women being joined together as siamese twins, or just as two-headed freaks of nature, has everything you could ever want on the subject. In fact, everything you could ever want on the subject is contained on the introductory page. Unfortunately, Doctor Murcurious Prospero's perversion continues through page after page after page of photomanipulations, like this beauty pictured below:

I don't know about you, but there's a tent in my boxers! I'm don't mean that in any sort of sexual way, that's just where I keep my tent. Seriously, with nineteen pages of this crap and twenty-three images per page, give or take a couple, there are roughly four hundred and thirty-five images just like the one you've probably already repressed from above. And then there's the guest art. Naturally. With the addition of guest artists, as well as photoshoppers, you can find wonderful images such as this, or this (not work safe, and frankly somewhat offensive). Plus, the good Doctor's interests extend to the furry world, as well. And why not? After all, if a woman with two heads is sexy, a two-headed goat-woman has got to be even sexier, am I right? Right? Oh, and of course, there are plenty of stories, as well.

Yes, a part of her screamed. Gods-dammit, I liked Faener! It stung her to the core that she could have been so fooled. A glimmer of hope shined inside her. "Pasheria, could we stand up please? I need to see something."

"Certainly," she answered.

'Standing up' proved to be very complicated. It took several minutes for them to coordinate their movements enough to rise to their feet. When she felt how top-heavy they were, that hope died inside. It threw their center of gravity off, and she could tell by the strain she felt that long-term endurance would be a problem. Worse, she couldn't really stand upright. Pasheria was right behind her of course, pushing her torso forward just as she felt herself pushing the other woman's torso back. Pasheria reflexively put her arms around Silphe, which seemed to help their balance a trifle.

"No," Silphe cried, and this time let the tears fall. "How can we dance like this? It'll take years of retraining!"

Dr. Mercurious has a guestbook, if you care to let him know your thoughts on his site. He promises to cherish them.

– Ben "Greasnin" Platt

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.