Am I Pregnant?, submitted by Mister .44. The miracles of conception and childbirth are still mysteries to all mankind. Oh wait, no. No they're not. They're actually pretty widely understood by just about everybody. But what do you do when you think you may be pregnant, but due to the circumstances you just can't be one hundred percent sure? Go to the hospital, right? I mean, surely the medical professionals there can help you determine the correct course of action in this all-important situation. Nope. Pregnancy is far too critical of an issue to be left to the bungling hands of hospitals. This is a matter that must be brought before the ultimate tribunal of medical knowledge - a moronic free-for-all livejournal! If anyone can tell you whether or not you're pregnant, it's got to be a bunch of semi-literate strangers on the internet!
so im on birth control and i missed a pill last month and took like two late and then was having sex a week before i was supposed to start up until and through because my period never came, so i started taking my pills again on sunday and on tuesday i starte my period (i didnt take any pills late) and now ive been on my period for almost two weeks. i called the womens health center and they wanted to give me a pregnancy test but i didnt think if you were bleeding besides just spotting you could be pregnant? they also asked if i could be miscarraiging (sp?) but i dont know if that was the case how long you would bleed for? thanks for any comments...
Do you see that? This person actually called professionals, then rather than take their advice and take a test which could definitively answer her questions, she went to a livejournal for a second opinion. There is only one possible answer to this, or basically any other question on this board: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DO NOT BREED.
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
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