Pinatas.com, submitted by Hateful Universe. There is a deep-rooted human reaction of revulsion to indications of decay. Rotten fruit and moldy food can cause your gorge to rise, while the maggot-eaten desiccated corpses of animals may cause you to recoil in actual fear. This reaction extends for me to the streamer-festooned carrier of chaos known as the piñata. Rupture its papier-mâché hide and candy or other treats spurt out in carrion geysers to scatter randomly across the floor and inspire an orgy of scrambling madness from nearby children. Fuck that. Fuck this:
Clowns are no picnic either, but at least the real live ones can occasionally listen to reason. This bulge-headed vessel in which pure madness rides will hang mutely ignoring my please for a bit of sanity. Instead it will stare with no emotion or thought while blindfolded brats hammer away at its flank trying to rend it open. When they do the candy will cascade out, never even having a chance to assemble into a perfect presentation of culinary treats. Lost to the abyss forever.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.