so help me CHRIST ALMIGHTY i will turn this thing around and teabag every one of you until you wish you'd never heard of the daily dirt
this little outing was a STUPID IDEA and i have HAD IT UP TO HERE
oh my god do you see this? you've made my beard curl. for christs sake you made my beard curl. i've been cultivating a straight and wholesome beard since goddamn nam and now you've gone and made it curl.
BE QUIET MIRIAM I AM TRYING TO DISCIPLINE THE BOYS, NO I WILL NOT LOWER MY VOICE THIS IS MY FORD WINDSTAR AND I WILL SAY WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE IN IT!!!
oh here come the waterworks, right on fucking schedule
go and sit on a bulbous baby carrot you shameless tart
will someone pass me the pork rinds
i think they're in the backseat
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!