so help me CHRIST ALMIGHTY i will turn this thing around and teabag every one of you until you wish you'd never heard of the daily dirt
this little outing was a STUPID IDEA and i have HAD IT UP TO HERE
oh my god do you see this? you've made my beard curl. for christs sake you made my beard curl. i've been cultivating a straight and wholesome beard since goddamn nam and now you've gone and made it curl.
BE QUIET MIRIAM I AM TRYING TO DISCIPLINE THE BOYS, NO I WILL NOT LOWER MY VOICE THIS IS MY FORD WINDSTAR AND I WILL SAY WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE IN IT!!!
oh here come the waterworks, right on fucking schedule
go and sit on a bulbous baby carrot you shameless tart
will someone pass me the pork rinds
i think they're in the backseat
The ocean is full of the stuff of nightmares and, no thanks to all that water, you can't even kill it with fire.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!