Quantum Sleeper, submitted by nex. Sleeping in a bad is nice and comforting, but what happens if terrorists attack you? You have to get out of bed, get your slippers and maybe your glasses, then quickly rush to the panic room and hope to god Donald Rumsfeld and his crack commando squad save you before the terrorists rape away every ounce of your freedom, a concept they hate more than life itself. Thankfully, because some people are more stupid than other people, there is this amazing bed that doubles as a panic room and, when things go haywire, as your coffin.
Featuring a DVD player, a microwave, a refrigerator, bulletproof casing, and more, this is the perfect way to sleep the kind of sleep the most paranoid of lunatics dream of. Now I'm not a genius, but if you had the money to buy a bed this complex, you could probably afford to simply secure the room you sleep in, right? In the end, that would probably be more practical than sleeping in a tank.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.