Quantum Sleeper, submitted by nex. Sleeping in a bad is nice and comforting, but what happens if terrorists attack you? You have to get out of bed, get your slippers and maybe your glasses, then quickly rush to the panic room and hope to god Donald Rumsfeld and his crack commando squad save you before the terrorists rape away every ounce of your freedom, a concept they hate more than life itself. Thankfully, because some people are more stupid than other people, there is this amazing bed that doubles as a panic room and, when things go haywire, as your coffin.
Featuring a DVD player, a microwave, a refrigerator, bulletproof casing, and more, this is the perfect way to sleep the kind of sleep the most paranoid of lunatics dream of. Now I'm not a genius, but if you had the money to buy a bed this complex, you could probably afford to simply secure the room you sleep in, right? In the end, that would probably be more practical than sleeping in a tank.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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