Quantum Sleeper, submitted by nex. Sleeping in a bad is nice and comforting, but what happens if terrorists attack you? You have to get out of bed, get your slippers and maybe your glasses, then quickly rush to the panic room and hope to god Donald Rumsfeld and his crack commando squad save you before the terrorists rape away every ounce of your freedom, a concept they hate more than life itself. Thankfully, because some people are more stupid than other people, there is this amazing bed that doubles as a panic room and, when things go haywire, as your coffin.
Featuring a DVD player, a microwave, a refrigerator, bulletproof casing, and more, this is the perfect way to sleep the kind of sleep the most paranoid of lunatics dream of. Now I'm not a genius, but if you had the money to buy a bed this complex, you could probably afford to simply secure the room you sleep in, right? In the end, that would probably be more practical than sleeping in a tank.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Buy three Epic Loot Crates for only $7.99, get a free fourth loot crate for only $2.99!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.