Akiane, submitted by Derfish. Akaine is a young girl with many amazing talents. She is really into the Bible, and that pretty much counts as a talent these days. She writes horrible poetry that should put her at the top of the class of Livejournal University. Oh, she also paints and has been on Oprah because she paints.
"I want my art to draw people's attention to God, and I want my poetry to keep people's attention to God."
Did I mention that every single one of her paintings looks like it should be done on black velvet and leaning against a pickup truck for sale by a Mexican outside of a gas station? Yeah, lots of paintings of Jesus and sad children. The media, of course, loves it if a ten year old can tear herself away from the TV long enough to glue macaroni to a piece of construction paper. GENIUS AT WORK HERE PEOPLE. BABY EINSTEIN.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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