Velvet Dreams, submitted by Greedo. In honor of the last Star Wars movie coming out today, I've decided to give you a few slash fan fiction stories to get you in the mood for a "lightsaber" fight. This should remind you of how terrible the Internet really is and how we are doomed as a collective civilization. Enjoy.
"Obi-Wan just kissed him again, sending his own love and lust to his Master. He thrust his hips back to Qui-Gon's waiting cock. Qui-Gon didn't need more encouragement, and slowly entered his Padawan until he was completely inside him. Obi-Wan gasped in pleasure when the invading cock touched his prostate, and bent his head to nibble his Master's throat. Qui-Gon knew he was not small and paused, giving Obi-Wan time to adjust to his size. A moment later, Obi-Wan looked at him, liquid heat in his eyes, a silent plea in them.
Qui-Gon began to rock in long, sensual strokes, shifting himself to be sure to touch Obi-Wan's inner place with each one. But soon he was unable to keep the slow pace and his thrusts became more rapid and deep, with Obi-Wan thrusting on each one, moaning loudly. With one final, deep thrust, he climaxed, filling Obi-Wan with his come and sending all his love through their bond at same time. Obi-Wan followed him just seconds later, using their bond to share his own love with Qui-Gon."
Gross! Anyway, I'm glad all this Star Wars crap is over so I don't have to hear anymore fanboys excreting their nerd musk while ranting about it. There are other slash fanfic stories on this site as well, but I recommend you don't read them. Actually I recommend turning off your computer and moving to Greenland to raise seals. Save yourself.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.