Dogs Have Souls Too, submitted by The Pirate King. What is this all about? www.dogshavesouls.com? Shaving dog souls? Why on Earth would you want to do that? I proclaim this site to be against the laws of God and I deem the author a heretic! Begone with you and your shaved dog souls!
With hesitation, I dialed the parish number. Through controlled sobs, Father listened quietly as I explained Sarah's situation. To my relief, he did not think I was being foolish, his response was "As Sarah's friends, we needed to help end her suffering. Unlike our human friends," he continued, "whom, because of their souls, we do not have the right to help." Not sure I understood, I asked if he meant there was no dog heaven. With a firm conviction, he said, "Dogs do not go to heaven or anywhere. They have no souls." Having said this, he then sympathetically offered to accompany George and me to the veterinarian's clinic when the time was right for having Sarah put to sleep.
You are a fool! Dogs do not have a Canine Jesus to save them! Dogs cannot go to Heaven! And if you cannot go to Heaven, that means you are going to Hell! Hell is full of the tortured screams of burning animals like dogs and cats and parrots and zebras and whatnot and if you go to hell then your ass will be sniffed for all eternity! ALL OF MY EX-WIVES ARE GOING TO HELL AND THEY MIGHT SNIFF YOUR ASS TOO SO DON'T PRESS YOUR LUCK.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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