President News, submitted by me. Here's the president of Iran's official website, which is completely devoid of the crazy-ass statements he's issued over the past few months and instead features flowery propaganda stories, much like the Star Wars: Galaxies forums. There's no mention of Iran threatening to share their nuclear technology with other countries or the Iranian president saying his country doesn't "give a damn" about the U.N.'s suspicions of a hidden nuclear weapon program, but there is a story called "President urges UN to pave way for materialization of world peace", which is close enough I guess!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.