Ladder Theory, submitted by Abraham. Ladder Theory has been sweeping the nation ever since it first explained scientifically why women are evil creatures wishing to deny nice guys of true satisfaction. Women, being superficial beings, are unwilling to look past the typical nice guy's neckbeard to see his robust inner beauty or his competency as a sexual partner. Instead, these callous creatures seek to force nice guys into a position on the dreaded "friends ladder," where they will forever be relegated to being bitter, sexually frustrated trolls. Either that or this whole theory is some idiot's way of explaining why he doesn't get sex. But then that would explain too much.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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