LASSEN INTERNATIONAL, submitted by Siege!. Welcome to the website for Thomas Kinkade's gay, dolphin-obsessed brother. Christian Riese Lassen does for dolphins, beaches, and whales what Thomas Kinkade does for lighthouses and cottages: paints them obsessively. His work is a feast of garish colors and, well, dolphins and whales swimming around. In addition to that, he is a manly, shirtless heartthrob with as much spirit as he has muscle.
With all his millions in gay art dollars, he's bought himself a web site worth about $50 bucks. Be sure to repeatedly click all the links so you can watch our shirtless hero pop out of the water and summon a sphere of glowing energy to guide you to the next page. That's worth at least $45 by itself.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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