LASSEN INTERNATIONAL, submitted by Siege!. Welcome to the website for Thomas Kinkade's gay, dolphin-obsessed brother. Christian Riese Lassen does for dolphins, beaches, and whales what Thomas Kinkade does for lighthouses and cottages: paints them obsessively. His work is a feast of garish colors and, well, dolphins and whales swimming around. In addition to that, he is a manly, shirtless heartthrob with as much spirit as he has muscle.
With all his millions in gay art dollars, he's bought himself a web site worth about $50 bucks. Be sure to repeatedly click all the links so you can watch our shirtless hero pop out of the water and summon a sphere of glowing energy to guide you to the next page. That's worth at least $45 by itself.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.