LASSEN INTERNATIONAL, submitted by Siege!. Welcome to the website for Thomas Kinkade's gay, dolphin-obsessed brother. Christian Riese Lassen does for dolphins, beaches, and whales what Thomas Kinkade does for lighthouses and cottages: paints them obsessively. His work is a feast of garish colors and, well, dolphins and whales swimming around. In addition to that, he is a manly, shirtless heartthrob with as much spirit as he has muscle.
With all his millions in gay art dollars, he's bought himself a web site worth about $50 bucks. Be sure to repeatedly click all the links so you can watch our shirtless hero pop out of the water and summon a sphere of glowing energy to guide you to the next page. That's worth at least $45 by itself.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.