LASSEN INTERNATIONAL, submitted by Siege!. Welcome to the website for Thomas Kinkade's gay, dolphin-obsessed brother. Christian Riese Lassen does for dolphins, beaches, and whales what Thomas Kinkade does for lighthouses and cottages: paints them obsessively. His work is a feast of garish colors and, well, dolphins and whales swimming around. In addition to that, he is a manly, shirtless heartthrob with as much spirit as he has muscle.
With all his millions in gay art dollars, he's bought himself a web site worth about $50 bucks. Be sure to repeatedly click all the links so you can watch our shirtless hero pop out of the water and summon a sphere of glowing energy to guide you to the next page. That's worth at least $45 by itself.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.