Baby Toupee, submitted by Alex. In the world of useless products, is there none more useless than celebrity wigs for your dumb stupid baby? Eventually they will grow hair on their own, for free, and you can totally give them all the bad haircuts your heart desires. Are you so impatient and so eager to make them look even sillier that you have to plop down $30 on a bunch of fake hair? If so you're probably not qualified to be having dumb stupid babies anyway.