Best Trained Slave Awards, submitted by Tambourine Man. David Shiles has a personal web site where he sells model trains and posts jokes. The site is hard to look at and has nothing remotely interesting about it. But I want to focus on NOT WORK SAFE this page NOT WORK SAFE for now.

At first glance it just seems to be your common BDSM web page. I have no problems with consenting adults getting tied up and being forced to piss in a field. That's fine. What I'm having trouble understanding is why this guy is giving out awards to the best BDSM images. Such awards are given out for "Most Unusual Training Method of a Sex Slave" and "Best Pee Picture With A Slave". I mean, it looks more respectable than the Oscars but I'm still having trouble understanding it.

But it gets even more confusing. Rampant anti-Muslim propaganda, all over the Best Trained Slave Awards! I didn't know this year's ceremonies would get so political! There's a link to the real uses for the Qur'an which is supposed to be funny I guess.

Muslims Take Please Note:

Here are some real uses for the QURAN ...

(1) Use the pages to line a Public Toilet Seat

(2) Piss on it

(3) Use it for Kindling to start a Fire

(4) Wipe your ASS with it

(5) Make Paper Airplanes from the pages

(6) Flush it down a Sewer

(7) Use the book in a good game of Kickball

(8) Use it to wipe your running nose with

(9) Girls Only - Use the pages for a Cunt Rag during your period

(10) Use the pages for Baby Diapers

I'm not sure that all of this anti-Muslim shit belongs at the Best Trained Sex Slave Awards. This guy is very angry at something, and it isn't Muslims.

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.