A Journey Through the Heart, submitted by Alex. As I'm sure you could tell by the preceding article, I am actually hallucinating from a fever, and I don't mean Jungle Fever or Prize Fever. It is with great sorrow that I must inform you that this site is not a terrifying phantom conjured by the deepest recesses of my boiling brain, it is in fact a real site. Inept and bland design fused with inept and disturbing poetry to create a horrifying vision of hell. A very inept hell.

The crow and the craven,
Attacked me the raven,
While sitting in my haven,
And all the lights were dim,
So I never really saw him...

If that picture didn't scare you enough, he also has a picture of himself brandishing a pump-action shotgun. Based on these two pieces of photographic evidence I'm not sure what he does when he gets mad, shoot their head or eat their head. He also appears to be stalking his boyish girlfriend. Good lord I wish it were a hallucination.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.