The Original Parachute Pants Store, submitted by . This is really just a straight forward e-commerce site for one of the worst products of the eighties, but seeing as how I am on a flashback trip as of late, huzzah! I found the site by typing "dance fetish" into Altavista -don't ask - and when this gem came up I knew I was in business. I could feel the smooth and sensually fucking retarded pants on my legs. Then I spotted the picture of the founder and my dance fetish became a limp noodle. I enlarged the image of his head to make it more terrifying.
I can tell by his smile that he eats babies. Lots of babies. Nothing kills a good dance fetish groove like some baby-eater walking up to you in his goddamn parachute pants. What a horrible experience this has all been for me. Small consolation, but there is a parachute pants Yahoo! club I can join.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.