The Original Parachute Pants Store, submitted by . This is really just a straight forward e-commerce site for one of the worst products of the eighties, but seeing as how I am on a flashback trip as of late, huzzah! I found the site by typing "dance fetish" into Altavista -don't ask - and when this gem came up I knew I was in business. I could feel the smooth and sensually fucking retarded pants on my legs. Then I spotted the picture of the founder and my dance fetish became a limp noodle. I enlarged the image of his head to make it more terrifying.
I can tell by his smile that he eats babies. Lots of babies. Nothing kills a good dance fetish groove like some baby-eater walking up to you in his goddamn parachute pants. What a horrible experience this has all been for me. Small consolation, but there is a parachute pants Yahoo! club I can join.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.