BADDASS WRESTLE WEAR, submitted by RedBeard. Hey! Have you ever wanted to be a professional wrestler but you just could find the right pair of bike pants to wedge your fat ass into? Maybe your name of "Captain Rolling Banana" wasn't exactly "wowing" the crowd over. Well look no further, as BADDASS WRESTLER WEAR is here to save the day!

OFTEN IMITATED, BUT NEVER, EVER DUPLICATED. BADDASS WRESTLE WEAR, CAN OUTFIT YOU IN THE FINEST WEAR THAT CAN BE BOUGHT TODAY.OUR PRODUCTS ARE PROUDLY MADE IN AND MADE OF THE FINEST USA MATERIALS.AS INNOVATORS OF THE WRESTLING WEAR THAT YOU HAVE NOW BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO WATCHING ON TV, WE CAN NOW PROVIDE YOU WITH THE SAME QUALITY AND LOOK.WE OUTFIT PRO-WRESTLERS, AMATEUR WRESTLERS, SHOOT-FIGHTERS, BODYBUILDERS, MARTIAL ARTISTS OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE. YOU DESERVE THE BEST

Well you've sold me, gents! If you can cram my bulgy skull into one of your clown masks up there and give me a real cool name like the "Arabian Stab Machine," then we'll be in busniess!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.