The Basement Dance Studio offers everything from krumping ("making yourself look like you are having a seizure while throwing your arms around to slow, methodical music is one of the newest evolutions in hip-hop culture!") to burlesque ("our teachers glide up and down the pole like a monkey up a tree"). The one constant from class to class is the site's use of photographs that are either undersized or undersized-yet-clumsily-stretched-to-huge, suggesting dance students must not only contort their bodies, but also surrender to bizarre enlargement and crude pixelation. These design flaws can make it hard to tell what's happening, but that's ultimately a blessing, given the hinted-at horrors of the "Art of Erotic Dance" section.
How dare you not read this article. How dare you not click on it. What is wrong with you?
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