Website: http://members.xoom.com/alakorn/

Violations:

1. Page takes over three hours to load thanks to a shitload of large, unnecessary graphics that are supposed to show off the clan leader's "l33t Photoshop skillz".
3. Website is overly violent or full of hate, revealing some morbid fascination with guns and killing.
5. Clan members have trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality.
7. Page layout / color scheme burns your retinas and causes brain damage
8. Website looks as if it were written by Jeff K.
9. Clan is not competent enough to check for / fix broken links.

Samples From Website:

"Generally we play on this one quake 3 server we use a shortcut to get there the server is this 208.160.105.29:27930 its instagib because instagib rulees and everything else sucks it also speeeds up thee relaod time on the rail gun so thats cool too because there more gore on the screen I didnt pay for qyake 3 i go ta cd copy because i dont like paying for SHIT"

"join that server youll surely find us and well kick youre fuckin ass you pansy motha fucka"


Description:I thought I'd start off this here review with a bit of info on Clan Hell itself. I've been surprised with the amount of mail I've been getting, so thanks to everyone who sends me notes especially saying you like one of the reviews (such letters often cause me to cry uncontrollably). With this being the case however, I'd like to let you in on something... THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING CLAN SITES THAT YOU FUCKING SEND ME ARE FUCKING TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR FUCKING CLAN HELL! If your brain hurts after you view the page, chances are it is bad enough to grace these pages. Same goes if you suffer paralysis directly after viewing the site. Please don't send in some professionally designed and maintained site, as it only gives me hope, and Lowtax doesn't allow us to have hope here.

Well, onto a true Clan Hell site, Clan MURDER/DEATH-kill. The way in which they write their name is sure to give you some idea of their intelligence. The site is really bad, like I mean "coming home to find your wife and children brutally murdered at the hands of your twin brother" bad. The background has been known to cause severe nausea and spontaneous death, so as always visit this site at your own risk. The clan members are certainly primary school children, as some of the writing and spelling will make you rethink your stance on euthanasia. Here's an example or two: "CLAN MDK OWNS YOU!!!!!!! DONT EVEN TRY TO FACE US WELL KIL YOU DEAD HENSE THE NAME MDK" and "new pizza out BIG NEW YOURKER its really really good I LIKE PIZZA its good BUT I HATE HUNGRY HOWIES THEY SUCK AND NEED TO BE BRUTALLY MURDERED MY CLAN[MDK[ BITCHES". Now it may just be me, but the thought of "brutally murdering" a pizza doesn't feel me with rage and / or hate. Let me just say after reading the second quote I'm awfully glad that I'm not a "HUNGRY HOWIE" supporter because firstly I'd suck, and secondly it would mean that Clan MDK would be baying for my blood. Lucky, eh!

As a little side note I thought I'd mention the various marijuana leaves on some of the pages of this site. As someone who doesn't mind a little toke now and then, it is spine-melting to see how this group of six year-olds have set the legalization process back 500 years simply by showing how aggressive they get when they have pot leaves on their site. In summary, don't visit this site if you're a "HOWIE", as I can guarantee you're in for a tough time, if you enjoy "BIG NEW YOURKER" pizzas, I'd say that you'd be welcome at this page.    

Link for you to join?: Yes... but I heavily advise caution.

– Tim

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