Sharper FX Inc. (thanks Pantsfish) - Everyone knows that the best way to get lots of people to read your site is with a cool flash movie every time they try to visit it. It's even better if the flash movie starts playing really loud music and is unskippable.

Sharper FX Inc. specializes in helping sites with this problem. They are very selective in their customers though. They only accept really really rad churches who want to give mad props to the Lord.

Ah screw it, just watch these site intros:

The most x-treme church in the world, for super x-treme dudes only: New Birth Missionary Baptist Church
This one was already an ALOD, I think, but if you don't have time to watch the hippest, hottest, Bible-based mime group in the world for a second time, then you are just a big nerd: KK Mime

And this man just really really wants to seduce you in the name of the Lord: VTC Ministries

I guess if you're still an atheist after all that, then nothing can help you.

– Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.