Sharper FX Inc. (thanks Pantsfish) - Everyone knows that the best way to get lots of people to read your site is with a cool flash movie every time they try to visit it. It's even better if the flash movie starts playing really loud music and is unskippable.

Sharper FX Inc. specializes in helping sites with this problem. They are very selective in their customers though. They only accept really really rad churches who want to give mad props to the Lord.

Ah screw it, just watch these site intros:

The most x-treme church in the world, for super x-treme dudes only: New Birth Missionary Baptist Church
This one was already an ALOD, I think, but if you don't have time to watch the hippest, hottest, Bible-based mime group in the world for a second time, then you are just a big nerd: KK Mime

And this man just really really wants to seduce you in the name of the Lord: VTC Ministries

I guess if you're still an atheist after all that, then nothing can help you.

– Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.