Some Fat Worthless Vlogger - No, not Fluttershy. I've moved to YouTube for the source of my Awful Links of the Day because a.) it's incredibly easy to find human garbage in less than three mouse clicks, and b.) I'm a lazy bastard. Today's fat, worthless blogger goes by the name of alleycat9856, and to make things even worse, she's clearly from the South. alleycat9856's unique vlogging cinematography involves cropping the picture to only show what could be called the "human" part of her face, leaving thousands upon thousands of pounds safely off screen. And her total incompetency with technology makes it so every video features a dollar store microphone bobbing around the frame and jabbing her in the massive face. You get the feeling that a robot with a microphone penis is trying to rape her offscreen, which leads us to the question, "When did robots get so desperate?"
alleycat9856 also can't seem to make it through a video without losing her train of thought and her breath about 200 times, so please enjoy that. Her profile may say that she's 23, but alleycat9856's lifestyle of exclusively eating food with the "Cool Ranch" adjective makes her appear to be in her late 40s. What follows are the ramblings of someone who was born in a still.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.