Some Fat Worthless Vlogger - No, not Fluttershy. I've moved to YouTube for the source of my Awful Links of the Day because a.) it's incredibly easy to find human garbage in less than three mouse clicks, and b.) I'm a lazy bastard. Today's fat, worthless blogger goes by the name of alleycat9856, and to make things even worse, she's clearly from the South. alleycat9856's unique vlogging cinematography involves cropping the picture to only show what could be called the "human" part of her face, leaving thousands upon thousands of pounds safely off screen. And her total incompetency with technology makes it so every video features a dollar store microphone bobbing around the frame and jabbing her in the massive face. You get the feeling that a robot with a microphone penis is trying to rape her offscreen, which leads us to the question, "When did robots get so desperate?"
alleycat9856 also can't seem to make it through a video without losing her train of thought and her breath about 200 times, so please enjoy that. Her profile may say that she's 23, but alleycat9856's lifestyle of exclusively eating food with the "Cool Ranch" adjective makes her appear to be in her late 40s. What follows are the ramblings of someone who was born in a still.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.