Some Fat Worthless Vlogger - No, not Fluttershy. I've moved to YouTube for the source of my Awful Links of the Day because a.) it's incredibly easy to find human garbage in less than three mouse clicks, and b.) I'm a lazy bastard. Today's fat, worthless blogger goes by the name of alleycat9856, and to make things even worse, she's clearly from the South. alleycat9856's unique vlogging cinematography involves cropping the picture to only show what could be called the "human" part of her face, leaving thousands upon thousands of pounds safely off screen. And her total incompetency with technology makes it so every video features a dollar store microphone bobbing around the frame and jabbing her in the massive face. You get the feeling that a robot with a microphone penis is trying to rape her offscreen, which leads us to the question, "When did robots get so desperate?"
alleycat9856 also can't seem to make it through a video without losing her train of thought and her breath about 200 times, so please enjoy that. Her profile may say that she's 23, but alleycat9856's lifestyle of exclusively eating food with the "Cool Ranch" adjective makes her appear to be in her late 40s. What follows are the ramblings of someone who was born in a still.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.