Put briefly, Oohology is what happens when you combine the aesthetic sensibilities of 80's-era MTV and the vague buzzwordiness of anyone whose job title contains the world "consultant." What's puzzling me about this website is that, unlike most of the other sites we review in this column, these people seem to be pretty good at their jobs. Everything's fine to look at (aside from the eye-assaulting brightness of it all), and they use fonts well (though the text means next to nothing). But I still find the site completely intolerable. I don't know whether it's the stupid sales-phrases like "Unforgettable doesn't happen naturally," or the stupid "We know kung fu!" logo or what. I would hire them in an instant if I wanted to start a cool "independent" retail store, but I can guarantee every time I got off the phone with someone there, I'd call them a fucking asshole.
I guess that's what the advertising industry is all about now, though. I don't mean that in an "I wish it could all be like Mad Men" way, because a) fuck that, and b) they were just as bad then as they are now. Advertising and design involve selling a product you had nothing to do with to a bunch of idiots who, if they knew what was good for them, would have nothing to do with it. Not much has changed, except now design companies have sites, and instead of only running into these people when you had a product to sell and needed them, you can encounter them unwittingly like so many douchebag Pokemon. Perhaps, this is the true horror - to see the capitalist world for what it truly is.
Or maybe I just hate the fucking neon color scheme, I don't know.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.