A team of music video scientists spent decades making sure that this music video would, when muted, sync up perfectly to every single track Ol' Dirty Bastard ever released.
"look at those stupid honkies. they got no rhythem. since it was the 70's i would have been coked up and dancing on the tables."
"the crowds whispering to each other 'you didnt say they were black', if i was in that crowd I'd be rockin out this songs the shit!"
"I'm immune to all viruses / I get that cocaine. It cleans out my sinuses."
-Russel "Old Dirty "Joe "Big Baby Jesus" Bananas" Bastard" Jones
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!