AwfulVision Presents: Cumming on Pigeons

These videos show exactly how far a man with a camcorder (who may not have actually ever jerked off before in real life judging by his mannerisms here), a pigeon problem, a garden hose, and the audacity to pretend that garden hose is his penis and the water therein his jizz, can come in this fine country of ours. Truly, this is the American Dream.

Also, since my description for all of these would essentially be "and in this one, he pretends to ejaculate onto a pigeon", here instead are the lyrics to "Get Low" by Lil John and the East Side Boyz courtesy of "azlyrics.com".

Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she fuck that Question been harassing me in the mind this bitch is fine I done came to the club about 50th 11 times now can I play with yo panty line club owner said I need to calm down security guard go to sweating Me now nigga drunk then a motherfucker threaten me now.

She getting crunk in the club I mean she working Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off BUCKEY naked ATL. Hoe don't disrespect it Pa pop yo pussy like this cause yin yang twins in this bitch Lil Jon and the East side boys wit me and we all like to see Ass and tities Now bring yo ass over here hoe and let me see you get low if you want this Thug Now take it to the floor (to the floor) and if yo ass wanta act you can keep yo ass where you at.

3,6,9 damn your fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low To the window (TO THE WINDOW), to the wall, (TO THE WALL) To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS) To all these bitches crawl (CRAWL) To all skeet skeet motherfucker (MOTHERFUCKER!) all skeet skeet god damn (GOT DAMN) To all skeet skeet motherfucker (MOTHERFUCKER!) all skeet skeet god damn (GOT DAMN).

Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya Now back,back,back it up a back,back,back it up a back,back,back it up a back,back,back it up Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya Now stop ( O) then wiggle wiggle wit it.

Now give me my doe back and go get ya friend Stupid bitch standing there while I'm drinking my hen Steady looking at me Still asking questions Times up nigga pass me another contestant Hoe move to the left if you ain't bout 50th Done talk through 3 or 4 songs already looking at a nigga with yo palm all out bitch I ain't even seen you dance Twerk something baby work something baby Pop yo pussy on the pole do yo thang baby Slide down dat bitch wit yo little bit then stop Get back on the floor catch yo balance then drop Now bring it back up clap yo ass like hands I just wanna see yo ass dirty dance yin yang we done again And put it on the map like annnnn.

Got damn (Got damn) ya ya'll twreking alittle bit ladies But ya got to twrek alittle bit harder then dat now right now I need all the ladies dat know they look good tonite (where my sexy ladies) we want ya'll to do this shit like this Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low) Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low) Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low) Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low).

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As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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