Submitted by Paul Rice
A history lesson from an even bigger tard
When the 1800's started, the 1700's had barely ended. George Washington's cherry tree was chopped down because he hit it with an ax but this happened before the 1800's because it happened in the 1700's. People shot at some people because there was a war and then it ended and people stopped shooting because there wasn't a war.
Some people built a railroad and the Irish people ran out of potatoes and moved to New York. There was another war but this time it was a civil war because the civils were at war. A bunch of black people were freed but not really until the 1900's which happened after the 1800's which is what we're talking about.
A tall dude was president but got shot during a play by a dude who was mad that the wrong civils won the war then a bearded drunk was president then some boring people then a fat dude then then some dude who got shot again but not the same one and then it was the 1900's
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
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