Submitted by Paul Rice
Sometimes - perhaps once in a lifetime - hindsight shows us moments where one single, solitary act could have forever changed history for the better: the plot to assassinate Hitler succeeding, Gore winning in 2000, the Spanish Inquisition never happening, etc.
To this long and solemn list, I'd like to add "a 50 megaton nuclear bomb exploding in Cave In Rock, Illinois sometime around August 8th, 2009".
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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