Submitted by Paul Rice
Sometimes - perhaps once in a lifetime - hindsight shows us moments where one single, solitary act could have forever changed history for the better: the plot to assassinate Hitler succeeding, Gore winning in 2000, the Spanish Inquisition never happening, etc.
To this long and solemn list, I'd like to add "a 50 megaton nuclear bomb exploding in Cave In Rock, Illinois sometime around August 8th, 2009".
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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