I'm not sure how many of you non-forum members have seen this, but every year or so, we have another Gorgeous George thread on the SA forums. "Who is Gorgeous George?" you may be asking. George is the host of some god awful public access TV show in Virginia. His show is mostly comprised of horrible sketches, horrible songs, and the one shiny bit of gold sticking out of an otherwise turd: the phone-in segment.
Obsessed with the idea of having a REAL TALK SHOW JUST LIKE ON THE GULDURN TEEVEEEEEeeee, George often opens his phonelines to take calls from listeners. Most of these calls end up being crank calls from people who hate him, which always seems to confuse and annoy George to no end. I don't know what he was expecting. I can only assume that he was expecting some kind of in depth conversation about his use of rubber Bill Clinton masks or compliments on his terrible Elton John karaoke.
Nonetheless, he doesn't get calls like that. He gets calls like this:
The calls themselves aren't really what's hilarious. George's responses are what truly make these videos priceless. At various times, he screams at the prank callers to "go rub dongs with your daddies" and tells them they have crap in their mouths! Crap! And semen! I think one of the callers sums it up best, when asking about George's height: "I didn't know they stacked shit that high".
Neither did I, caller. Neither did I.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!