Submitted by Brad D.
So THIS is what Gabe Newell has been doing instead of making Episode 3! Dammit, I KNEW it!
Also, what the fuck happened while I was gone? When did Youtube start revolving (lol fattie joke re: gravity) around fat fucks who cram weird shit into their gaping maws? Fuck this earth.
"10.8k caloriesÿ in 6 minutes? heart attack after?"
"It aint mayo. :P Itsÿ pudding. The seal on the jar came off too easy." (AS IF THAT'S ANY FUCKING BETTER - Editor)
"whereÿ are your neck? D:"
Welp, we've once again reached my tolerance level for this week. Thanks a lot to all the horrible pieces of human wreckage that submitted videos this week to further torture me. There is a special place in hell for you and your immediate families. If you want to join in the fun of kicking this poor, helpless internet writer while he's down, you can submit a stupid video, or post it on our wall, and I'll review it (with tears streaming down my fat, gay face all the while). See you jerks next time!
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!