Eating a Jar of mayonnaise for CHARITY

Submitted by Brad D.

So THIS is what Gabe Newell has been doing instead of making Episode 3! Dammit, I KNEW it!

Also, what the fuck happened while I was gone? When did Youtube start revolving (lol fattie joke re: gravity) around fat fucks who cram weird shit into their gaping maws? Fuck this earth.

Critics Corner

"10.8k caloriesÿ in 6 minutes? heart attack after?"


"It aint mayo. :P Itsÿ pudding. The seal on the jar came off too easy." (AS IF THAT'S ANY FUCKING BETTER - Editor)


"whereÿ are your neck? D:"


Welp, we've once again reached my tolerance level for this week. Thanks a lot to all the horrible pieces of human wreckage that submitted videos this week to further torture me. There is a special place in hell for you and your immediate families. If you want to join in the fun of kicking this poor, helpless internet writer while he's down, you can submit a stupid video, or post it on our wall, and I'll review it (with tears streaming down my fat, gay face all the while). See you jerks next time!

– Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey

More AwfulVision

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.