Welp, as you know, I like to try to end things on a high note so here's my attempt for this week. Okay, so here's the premise: this mid-50's broad takes time out from getting her son's friends drunk on Wine Coolers and dances to random (and I do mean random!) songs.
Repeat THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FUCKING TIMES.
It was honestly pretty hard to pick a video of hers to spotlight. Do I pick the "almost old enough to be ironic" Mambo #5 video? Perhaps demonstrate the oil-and-water-like effect of her "U + Ur Hand" video (to paraphrase Luke Skywalker, "If there's a masturbatory center to the universe, you're watching the video that's farthest from")? Perhaps one of her many Dee-lite videos?
Then I saw this video, and my decision was exponentially easier. For you see, this is a video of a middle aged woman dancing to the Ghost Busters theme.
We've finally reached the end of the internet. Please watch your step as you exit.
That does it for another hastily compiled AwfulVision! Big thanks to Paul, Charlie, Caleb and everyone else that sent in videos this week! Remember, it's terrible videos like these that make AwfulVision possible (it sure as hell ain't my "sense of humor" that does it, that's for sure), so if you or anyone you know has any terrible videos, send them my way! Also, join our stupid YouTube Channel or else.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!