Submitted by Shannon
...you're still an abject failure of a nerd who is so scared of putting his dick in a girl that he clings to his virginity like it's a some kind of crude flotation device as he flounders helplessly in the shallow end of the gene pool.
"oh and also.... i know more than 20 people who have had sex... and regret it soooooo much!!! once you lose your virginity... you cant get it back"
"shot in the pants.. and we're all monkeys. But hell I don't grubs (anymore) and throw poop.. (since 3rd grade) So its acceptable to place your own limitations on your own life.
Its understandable to want to save it for someone special or marriage. Do whatever is right and discuss it with your partner. She she doesn't feel like its worth the wait and that there isn't much more to your relationship than getting to that then screw them... just not with your penis.
I mean life is whatever"
"What ever you do, don't lose it for politcal reasons...like I did...bad idea. Honestly I think you should wait, besides the reasons you mentioned, if you do have children, it makes it easier to have the birds and the bees conversation without sounding like a hypocrite."
(writer's note: Jesus fucking Christ, this reads like the minutes from the lamest fucking Drama Club meeting EVER.)
Expert analysis on the few things your cat likes and the many things it hates.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!