Submitted by Frederic
Last week, I erroneously attributed the worst rap battle in all of recorded human history to France rather than it's rightful perpetrator: Canada. This week, I thought I'd set things straight by starting things off with a video straight from God's Whoopie Cushion: Quebec aka "Canada's Retarded Cousin" aka Dirt McGirt.
I'm sure most of you "get" what this video is trying very, very hard to parody but in case ham-fisted references are somehow lost on you, allow me to explain! You see, in the magical land of YouTube there's this nerd who makes angry, red-in-the-face reviews of videogames: the Angry Videogame Nerd. YouTubers, notorious for being armed with only slightly more cognitive function than Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin's retarded baby, eat that shit up because haha dude, I totally remember how hard Castlevania was and if I had any friends, I'd so give them a high five while fondly recalling that thing I just recalled.
As Einstein's General Theory of YouTube clearly states, for any mildly amusing video on YouTube, there are approximately 3000 parody videos that are each approximately 3000% less funny than the original. And see, what this guy here did was replace the adjective "angry" with "hungry", whipped up a hilarious parody song in Garage Band that he clearly spent upwards of 30 seconds on, hit record on his Sony Handicam and just let the magic happen.
"Hungry" instead of "Angry"! Bwah ha ha ha! These are the jokes, folks! All your LOL are belong to us!
"That intro is way too goddamn long"
"started off good. couldnt get passed 2:45... sorry... 2/5 "
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!