Earthquake Warning!
Submitted by basically everyone
Our thoughts and prayers are with Optimus Prime, Bulkhead, Arcee and the rest of the Autobots.
Critics Corner
"IT MAAAY DESTROOY LOTS OF ASS COUGH* COUGH*"
-ram98872
"This kid has a future in Cattle Auctions!"
-kukenango]
"You know how sometimes, SOMETIMES you bring your total A-Game when you're with a woman? You absolute best. She's moaning, her thighs clamp to your sides and her back arches with every orgasm. Your back has claw marks in it and her eyes glaze over and roll back
Well, the West Coast is getting closer and closer to the Mother Earth version of that. Somewhere, there's some forces at work that will savagely love her until a tectonic orgasm strikes downtown LA with a power unique to a woman's climax."
-Kriegsarschmann
This Week on Something Awful...
Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
Pet Disasters!
Pictures of cute animals are taking the Internet by storm! (It's a very destructive storm.)
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Super Bowl Ready TV Sports Graphics!
*Galaxies and stars explode, revealing the Sports Center logo as the center of the new universe.*
About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!
Previous Articles
- I jerked off my dad!
- *splap*!
- This is BIRDEEEEEEEEEMIC!
- Fucking AwfulVision! (How does it work??)
- You fudge with me, you fudge with the best!
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