Earthquake Warning!
Submitted by basically everyone
Our thoughts and prayers are with Optimus Prime, Bulkhead, Arcee and the rest of the Autobots.
Critics Corner
"IT MAAAY DESTROOY LOTS OF ASS COUGH* COUGH*"
-ram98872
"This kid has a future in Cattle Auctions!"
-kukenango]
"You know how sometimes, SOMETIMES you bring your total A-Game when you're with a woman? You absolute best. She's moaning, her thighs clamp to your sides and her back arches with every orgasm. Your back has claw marks in it and her eyes glaze over and roll back
Well, the West Coast is getting closer and closer to the Mother Earth version of that. Somewhere, there's some forces at work that will savagely love her until a tectonic orgasm strikes downtown LA with a power unique to a woman's climax."
-Kriegsarschmann
This Week on Something Awful...
STOCK PHOTO LIFESTYLE TALES #5
Good day. We are Hester and Karl, and we are something rare. We are a couple ... of Stock Photo Lifestylists! Lifestylers? We lead a Stock Photo Lifestyle.
I want my hotel bed to glow.
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
Board Games Based on Phone Games!
'Words with Friends: The Board Game' was just the beginning: 5 more adaptations kids will hate!
Chuck Asay Cartoon Contest!
It used to be Chuck Asay who made wacko cartoons that chill you to the bone. Now it's the SA Goons!
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; Out of the Furnace; The Book Thief
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!
Previous Articles
- I jerked off my dad!
- *splap*!
- This is BIRDEEEEEEEEEMIC!
- Fucking AwfulVision! (How does it work??)
- You fudge with me, you fudge with the best!
