Website: http://hometown.aol.com/poptormentor/tribespop.html

Violations:

1. Page takes over three hours to load thanks to a shitload of large, unnecessary graphics that are supposed to show off the clan leader's "l33t Photoshop skillz".
2. Clan either writes in haX0r lingo, gangsta rap, or pseudo-military terms they heard from "Full Metal Jacket".
5. Clan members have trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality.
7. Page layout / color scheme burns your retinas and causes brain damage
8. Website looks as if it were written by Jeff K.
9. Clan is not competent enough to check for / fix broken links.

Samples From Website:

"*IMPORANT NOTICE!* I think camaro, is making us our own script and a server for us to practice on, hopefully to play on as well.  we'll try to keep you guyz updated on whatz going on, and we challenged Stone, but i think there going to forfeit! kool =)"

"Hey fellas! I saw your leaders and I hope that we can keep our battles on the internet, because I'm sure as hell not looking for a fight with you guys!"


Description:This is another one courtesy of Lowtax. Thanks buddy, you prick. It's interesting to see a non-Quake clan featured in Clan Hell, as I was under the impression that only members of said community were unable to speak coherently or count to 7. I guess I was wrong, as the "Pissed of Punks/Pimps", a Tribes clan, have proved to me this isn't the case. According to the top of the page, they are the "Pissed off Pimps", yet on the rest of this cranium-melting abomination they are referred to as the "Pissed off Punks". Is it just me or is this clan suffering from an identity crisis? I would personally go with the first name, as pimps are much scarier than punks, especially when you refuse their "Special offer of the day," which is more often than not a transgendered McDonalds employee... but that's a story for another time.

I can't say it was surprising to see that the content of the page only made sense when I rammed my head into the screen, leaving me dazed, confused, and infintely dumber. Hi. Ummm, the photos of the clan leaders look particularly frightening. If I wasn't losing blood at an alarming rate I would've swore that they were of an African-American descent and each carried a "Glock" to "kick your fucking ass". The content of the major part of the site isn't too entertaining (at least in the places that it can be understood). JeffK has definitely had a hand in its creation as numbers are substi2ted 4 lettRz and 90% of the words are spelt incorectley. It is the guestbook, however, which is good to read before you head out on a suicide bombing. Whether it be other clans attempting to "kick any of your ghay ass leaders asses anytime faggots" or just scared female aspiring DJs "Hey fellas! I saw your leaders and I hope that we can keep our battles on the internet, because I'm sure as hell not looking for a fight with you guys!", the Pissed off Punks / Pimps guestbook is well worth a look. I think that's it, please just promise me you will never, ever visit this page, because if you do, I will not be responsible for how badly the clan leaders kick your ass.

Link for you to join?: Yes

– Tim

More Clan Hell

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.