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President Calderon Announces Dam of Waste Water from USA Mines: "Selenium Tailings Will Power Our Shanties."
Miracle? Virgin Mary Face Spotted Inside Virgin Mary Face Already Appearing in Tree
Mexican Army Colonel Mendez Promoted to Major General by Cartel
Medical Vending Machines in Border Cities to Sell Antibiotics, Questionable Surgeries
200m Mountain of Incorrect Winner Super Bowl T-shirts Still Burning In Jaguar Habitat
Thousands of Dead, Oil-coated Turtles Washing Ashore in Cancun Unrelated to BP Oil Rig
Fears of Socialism Prompt USA to Consider Bailout of South American Right Wing Guerrilla GroupsMarket Report: 100 Peso Note Less Valuable Than Photocopy of 100 Peso Note
USA Border Trooper Guns Down Teen Caught Whistling Across Border Fence
Chiapas Governor Signs Law Demanding Papers from Guatemalan Illegals Trying to Sneak Through Mexico Into USA Ahead of Mexicans
Entire Japanese Consulate Staff in Mexico City Kidnapped and Ransomed
Grisly Discovery: At Least 20 Dead Soldiers Hidden Inside Abandoned Chihuahua Governor's Palace
Cartel Promises to Behead Whoever Wins Ciudad Juarez Mayoral Election
Experts Predict "Chicago Way" Failure if All Police Are Sent to Morgue
Rival Gang Violence: Cartel Gang War Erupts on Army Base
"Violence Must Stop," Visiting Pope Given Papal Balaclava to Conceal Identity and Protect Vatican From Retribution
Pastry War Avenged: Mexico Crushes France 2-0 in World Cup Bringing Shame and Humiliation to French and Reducing Them to Less Than Neutered Dogs
Bull Celebrates Stirring Triumph Over Matador By Being Immediately Killed With Swords
NFL to Consider 2010 Game in Mexico City if Machete Murders Can Be Chopped By 10%
Amor Gigante, Herve! Sweeps 2010 Telenovela Awards
Si, Sexo! Host Shakeup: Wiggling Bombshell Falling Out of Dress to Be Replaced With Slightly Blonder Wiggling Bombshell Falling Out of Dress
Incredible Machismo of El Hombre del Sexo Duro! star Andrés García Impregnates Dozens of Virgins Through TV Screen
USA Superstar Actor Robert Beltran (Star of Big Love, Star Trek) to Appear in Thirty Episodes of Historia de Fuego del Amor!
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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