INT. INDUSTRIAL CHAMBER
THREEPIO, tied to a girder, watches anxiously as the carbonite
block containing PADME is raised out of the machine by two
IMPERIAL SOLDIERS, WILKINS and DINN, who for some reason
Well rust my bolts!
VADER enters in his floating wheelchair without wheels.
He notices the PADME SLAB.
Yes... Very good. Now
she will be my silent,
beautiful bride for all
eternity! Were there
No, but... just before
we froze her, she said
the name... "Anakin."
Don't ever call me that!
Sargeant Wilkins, fetch me
WILKINS exits and returns with the lightsaber. VADER uses the
Force to wedge the handle between his knees and turn it on,
then drives his wheelchair forward, piercing WILKINS with the
blade. He falls over dead, the saber still protruding from his chest.
Now, I will need a cybernetic
spinal column because mine
burned up in the lava. Wilkins,
fetch me that droid!
He gestures with his eyes toward THREEPIO.
Uh, he can't, sir. Wilkins
Don't you tell me what Wilkins
can and can't do! Fetch me my
DINN retrieves the lightsaber from WILKINS' corpse and wedges it
between VADER's knees again. VADER drives forward into DINN,
Let that be a lesson to you,
Wilkins. Don't question my
orders. Now untie that droid.
We have work to do.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.