Diagonal wash to the bridge of a Federation cruiser. Obi-Wan strides back
and forth impatiently.
OBI-WAN: Pilot! How long until we reach Tatooine!
PILOT: Pretty soon, sir!
OBI-WAN (muttering to himself Not soon enough.
(thumbs comlink) Engineering! Can't we go any faster?
ENGINEER (in Chinese accent): This ahs fahst ahs
we cahn goh, mahstah!
PADME: Obi-Wan. I found someone who can help us
reach Tatooine ahead of Anakin!
Sergeant Ackbar enters, clad in the simple gray cloak of the Mon Clameri
SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): General Kenobi.
We have found a way to reroute power to the auxillary
thrusters to increase propulsion by 40%!
OBI-WAN: Well done, Sergeant!
SERGEANT ACKBAR(gruffly): With our new power
dispersal we should reach the target in a few hours!
PADME: You have stuff hanging off your chin.
SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): This is like a beard.
OBI-WAN (amused): But the Mon Clamari are a hairless race!
JAR JAR BINKS: Meesa ne wanga gotta beard, and
muy muy peoples gon' be wantin' one twosie! (trips, falls)
SERGEANT ACKBAR: (coughs gruffly)
OBI-WAN: You serve the Alliance well... Commander!
PADME: That shit's gross.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.