Diagonal wash to the bridge of a Federation cruiser. Obi-Wan strides back
and forth impatiently.
OBI-WAN: Pilot! How long until we reach Tatooine!
PILOT: Pretty soon, sir!
OBI-WAN (muttering to himself Not soon enough.
(thumbs comlink) Engineering! Can't we go any faster?
ENGINEER (in Chinese accent): This ahs fahst ahs
we cahn goh, mahstah!
PADME: Obi-Wan. I found someone who can help us
reach Tatooine ahead of Anakin!
Sergeant Ackbar enters, clad in the simple gray cloak of the Mon Clameri
SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): General Kenobi.
We have found a way to reroute power to the auxillary
thrusters to increase propulsion by 40%!
OBI-WAN: Well done, Sergeant!
SERGEANT ACKBAR(gruffly): With our new power
dispersal we should reach the target in a few hours!
PADME: You have stuff hanging off your chin.
SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): This is like a beard.
OBI-WAN (amused): But the Mon Clamari are a hairless race!
JAR JAR BINKS: Meesa ne wanga gotta beard, and
muy muy peoples gon' be wantin' one twosie! (trips, falls)
SERGEANT ACKBAR: (coughs gruffly)
OBI-WAN: You serve the Alliance well... Commander!
PADME: That shit's gross.
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
You've heard of #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter, but the ancient voice of a mountain offers us the hardest truth of all: #NoLivesMatter. And also some opinions about immigrants.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.