February 14 is only a few weeks away, which means people with their priorities in order have one pressing question: Where can I find a Valentine's Day costume for my guinea pig? Fortunately, Cuddly Cavies (or as the site's title bar indelicately puts it, "ratcostumes") has just the outfits to gussy up your rodent for a romantic evening! And unlike those Valentine's Day stores that pop up at the mall peddling their wares the day after Christmas and disappear on 2/15, Cuddly Cavies remains open for all your St. Patrick's, Easter and 4th of July guinea pig-wardrobe needs. You can also buy guinea pig diapers, good year round! And you can even make your guinea pig look like another animal, like a bumblebee or a cow, which is much more practical than keeping an actual bumblebee or cow as a pet.
Cuddly Cavies appeared in a South Park episode back in 2008 (here's a clip, soundtracked -- like most things on YouTube -- by a Disturbed song), but people might have assumed they were one of the show's fictional creations, like Scuzzlebutt or Barbra Streisand. But they are real and available now for your special night! (Money orders only.)
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
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