February 14 is only a few weeks away, which means people with their priorities in order have one pressing question: Where can I find a Valentine's Day costume for my guinea pig? Fortunately, Cuddly Cavies (or as the site's title bar indelicately puts it, "ratcostumes") has just the outfits to gussy up your rodent for a romantic evening! And unlike those Valentine's Day stores that pop up at the mall peddling their wares the day after Christmas and disappear on 2/15, Cuddly Cavies remains open for all your St. Patrick's, Easter and 4th of July guinea pig-wardrobe needs. You can also buy guinea pig diapers, good year round! And you can even make your guinea pig look like another animal, like a bumblebee or a cow, which is much more practical than keeping an actual bumblebee or cow as a pet.

Cuddly Cavies appeared in a South Park episode back in 2008 (here's a clip, soundtracked -- like most things on YouTube -- by a Disturbed song), but people might have assumed they were one of the show's fictional creations, like Scuzzlebutt or Barbra Streisand. But they are real and available now for your special night! (Money orders only.)

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.