EXT – DEGOBAH – DAY
HAN SOLO sits idly under a knotty tree in the swamp. He is casually throwing sticks
for CHEWBACCA who bounds after them, tongue lolling out and tail wagging.
I sure hope that Jedi remembers to come back and get
us. He was supposed to be here hours ago!
Chewbacca, with a stick in his mouth, looks at Han Solo quizzically and wags his
tail. He drops the stick at Han Solo’s feet.
I know I shouldn’t be bothering you with my worries.
You have no conception as to what’s going on in this
damn galaxy, do you boy?
(picks up the stick)
Atta boy. Let’s keep ourselves amused until that Jedi
decides to come back here and get us, okay?
Han Solo throws the stick, and Chewbacca bounds after it. Halfway to his
destination, Chewbacca’s back legs give in beneath him and he falls to the ground,
squealing. Han Solo jumps up and runs over to check on him.
What’s the matter, buddy? Oh my goodness... you’re
We see a series of montage shots of Han Solo being caring and motherly. He brings
Chewbacca water and bits of rubbish to eat. He pets him. Intercut with his montage
are special effects shots- Chewbacca’s muscles develop. His paws turn to crude
hands. From behind, we see him stand upright.
You’re growing up so fast, buddy. I can’t believe it.
Three years old and you’re already an Ewok!
I’d better enjoy these days while you’re still little
enough to cuddle, Chewy. Before I know it you’ll be a
Wookie and then it’ll be all business.
Han Solo tenderly hugs Chewbacca. A tear rolls down his cheek as Chewy purrs and
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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