GnatKingCoal "Infantile Weinular Cybrosis is a dangerous genetic condition putting at risk over 500 citizens of Washington, DC."

Lemon "Type 3 Campbell's Disorder: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?"

Millie "Baldwin Syndrome: Unmistakable squinty eyes and a natural inclination towards douchebaggery and bad movies."

GnatKingCoal "Porking-Baena Syndrome can lead to loss of political capital and star power."

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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