If you search the Internet for "duck phobia," you'll find anatidaephobia, "the pervasive, irrational fear that, somewhere in the world, a duck is watching you." It takes some scrolling to discover that this is a thing Gary Larson made up for The Far Side, probably because the search results are somehow affected by the restraining order Larson took out against the Internet. But while people being afraid of ducks is fake and dumb, like the idea of someone being afraid of peanuts or clowns, I'll tell you what's real: Xenophobia! It's a word invented in 1979 to describe people who were terrified by Xenomorphs, the creatures from the movie Alien. On the SA Forums, no one can hear you scream!
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Buy three Epic Loot Crates for only $7.99, get a free fourth loot crate for only $2.99!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.