A New beginning (Part 2), inspired by Jackie Chan Adventures, written by turtle_7."You know what you must do sister" the demons crowded closer"Yes..." answered Jade, she could feel their maleness, their femininity, their everlasting, she had never experienced these things before, but now she enjoyed it immensely "I must go seek out and destroy Chan"Jade slowly diminished in size until she was the same height and age as before, still though, she could feel her powers (and pleasures) remained. Also noting before she stepped through the swirling portal, the effect that she was having on her siblings. She could see them rubbing up against each other, she keep feeling the sexual tension growing. Oh how she would have liked to stay, but she had a job to do.Killing Chan would be fun... no it would be more than fun, Jade licked her lips just thinking about what she would do to him.And abruptly she was back where she started, a snow encrusted plain next to a very large black monolith.She couldn't before, but now she could feel the power flowing around through the monolith. Slowly so as not to alert uncle she sucked it all up, feeling the heightened pleasure as her powers also increased."Jade!" cried Jackie "you're alright! We were so worried about you""Yea" Jade replied in a very Jade like manner "I'm fine, there was just a flash of light and then for a split second I was run through different dimensions, it was cool""Uncle not so sure... uncle must do research"Oh that infuriating man... that horrible man, he could ruin everything! But then again, Jade always did enjoy a challenge."Jackiieeeeee, please can we go back to the hotel? I'm cold" Jade whined.She noticed Jackie's stare. 'That's right' she thought 'you don't know what it is do you? Is it the cold? No that has always had a different effect. You don't know... but don't worry Jackie soon you will, soon you'll feel the awesome' Jade shivered slightly as she thought about it 'the awesome power of the Demon of pleasure'.-------------------It was almost 9:00 by the time they reached back, they all were tired. Well, all except Jade, she was ready for that night.Lucky for her, she and Jackie shared a room, while Uncle was in a different one. Excellent.As they reached the rooms and began getting out their night clothing, Jade took extra care getting hers. Stripping and getting dressed in the bathroom Jade noted in the mirror how much even her child form had changed. While she had always been a tomboyish girl as she looked in the mirror and so more or less the same form, there was something else, something deeper, and something darker. Something about the very way that she stood there that just oozed sensuality. It was mildly disconcerting, she didn't want any hormone crazed 14 year olds hitting on her. Well that was why, she flashed her more mature form, this was there. Also flexing out her razor sharp claws of fingernails in the process.Yes, tonight would go nicely.-----------------------Jackie was woken at 12 o clock by a gasp. It wasn't a surprising gasp, more of an 'I'm chocking' sort of gasp. Of course he noticed a minute later Jade rolling on the floor with her tangled nightgown grabbing her though as if she was choking. Never mind how she was choking, he had to help her! But not until after he stared at her for another minute... something was different about Jade. And Jackie kind of liked it. He knew it was wrong but he felt himself hardening as he walked over to her.Getting her up, feeling his member right on her back and he began pushing. Not that way of course, he was her uncle. But with the Heimlich maneuver, he would have quiet a story to explain to Jade, of course he could probably just tell her it was some sort of hallucination, yes that would do nicely.He certainly wasn't ready for when she spun around and suddenly he was faced with a much more mature Jade... and a mouthful of breasts."Oh god Jackie!" she moaned "do me now! DO IT!"Jackie felt as if his pants couldn't hold it any longer, and as anyone could see (and Jade and Jackie could feel) they didn't.He wasn't quiet sure how it happened, but they were on his bed, Jackie on top, Jade on the bottom with his member ramming into her. He wasn't quiet sure how Jade had gotten such large breasts, how she had gotten such wonderfully delicious pale skin, how she had gotten the most beautiful body and face he had ever seen, or how he was having the best sex of his life.None of that mattered, because he could feel the pleasure increasing, he could hear her wonderful moans. Oh god even her voice was sexy and sensual.He could feel it increasing, slowly building up to the climax. He heard her moans getting louder and louder. He was almost about to... oh god so good... almost about to. And then nothing.Jade stared down at the body. Perhaps it had been overkill to remove the entire heart. Or perhaps it had been the best part of it. Jackie was horrible in bed.At least she felt replenished, revitalized by all that pleasure, that... oh what was the word? It didn't matter.Jackie was dead, and soon uncle would follow. Soon her brothers and sisters would be free.Soon Jade would no longer be Jade.But Jade Mistress of Pleasure, soon she could have any man, or woman, of her choosing, soon, she could finally do what she was meant to do since the moment she was born.That's all the time we have this week. Next week, we'll have the very last of this series. And to top it off, we'll have every last one of these works of art labeled and saved for your enjoyment. See you then!
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.