> Turn gun on cameraman and coerce him into joining your pirate/search crew, add CNN's motor to your boat
Suicide Sam E.
> Call him a news company stooge like Bill Murray did to the bond company stooge in The Life Aquatic.
Paper With Lines
> ask the hopefully gay camera man about his hopes and dreams.
> force the cameraman to drink seawater as part of his pirate initiation
> Call the captain on the radio and ask if he's watching CNN.
Toad on a Hat
> Drive over to the big boat and attempt to take it over Somali pirate style
Hitlers Gay Secret
> Reply "Well the shit's about to hit the fan." Then shit onto the boat motor.
> remind the captain that your still filming this all live and everyone watching heard his weird confession
> When large boat arrives, use your quad-engine warboat to ramp off of the CNN boat and do a sick flying corkscrew over it, firing the gun at the bridge while singing take it to the limit
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.