wasabimilkshake doesn't take kindly to people like you.


The sale is on at the zee is zae store! All images are buy-one-get-one-free! Act now before it's too late! Order using your credit card and receive a bonus plastic cutlery set!



I don't know how to break this tough news to you, but I'm afraid this article is finished. I'm raising a big glass of refreshing Pepsi as a show of appreciation to my trusty band of forum goons who helped out by contributing images this week. Next week I will return with another dose of Vitamin G. Only a fool would dare to miss reading the next Comedy Goldmine, or maybe someone really old who thinks that computers can steal their soul. Come back here next Tuesday or I'll hunt you down like a dog.

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.