Rap Bitches, submitted by Tiresias. Sounding less like rap and more like some trash Europop heard through the haze of a mescaline nightmare, the Rap Bitches are fucking SET to tear up the scene with their hot new ish Ghost Boobs! Not only is their music the worst thing since sliced Hitler, they've also infected the Internet with a website so visually abrasize you might as well strap SOS pads to your monitor and rub your eyes on it.
GRAVY TRAIN!!! is the bitter brainchild of Chunx, your standard honky ho, who obsessed over JJ Fad lyrics ('I seen better pictures on a can of Alpo'), bitched about tiny-donged menz, and suffered from the frightening split affliction of burgerphilia/nymphomania. Funx soon stepped in with her winning Casio beats, frighteningly stark-faced and sexually obscene dance moves, and Spanish flair (but NOT in a Santana featuring Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas sorta way).
I give them very very diminutive props for ripping on Santana and Matchbox 20, but when you're coughing up tangy-fresh puke tracks on your latest CD you don't really have a lot of room to criticize "bland and packaged". I wish Rap Bitches a long career of playing for their friend's birthday parties at the local dive bar.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.