Rap Bitches, submitted by Tiresias. Sounding less like rap and more like some trash Europop heard through the haze of a mescaline nightmare, the Rap Bitches are fucking SET to tear up the scene with their hot new ish Ghost Boobs! Not only is their music the worst thing since sliced Hitler, they've also infected the Internet with a website so visually abrasize you might as well strap SOS pads to your monitor and rub your eyes on it.



GRAVY TRAIN!!! is the bitter brainchild of Chunx, your standard honky ho, who obsessed over JJ Fad lyrics ('I seen better pictures on a can of Alpo'), bitched about tiny-donged menz, and suffered from the frightening split affliction of burgerphilia/nymphomania. Funx soon stepped in with her winning Casio beats, frighteningly stark-faced and sexually obscene dance moves, and Spanish flair (but NOT in a Santana featuring Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas sorta way).

I give them very very diminutive props for ripping on Santana and Matchbox 20, but when you're coughing up tangy-fresh puke tracks on your latest CD you don't really have a lot of room to criticize "bland and packaged". I wish Rap Bitches a long career of playing for their friend's birthday parties at the local dive bar.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.