Perhaps you don't like the way you look. Perhaps you have wanted to be handsome or high-cheekboned or rugged or dainty. I am sorry that you are a fat, ugly goon with bad complexion, and that you cannot pay for cosmetic surgery with World of Warcraft gold. The next best thing is to live vicariously through Melted Clocks' thread MSPaint a new face for Pikachu. Forum members with tablets and MSpaint and no sense of dignity and a fetish for anime mashups submitted nearly 900 entries, including many that weren't new faces at all but were simply Pikachu's body with a bisected penis superimposed crudely on top. I would have retched in protest if I weren't so busy masturbating. It took me about five hours to wade through them but about 90 of the most harrowing surreal or absurd (that don't include graphically dismembered body parts anyway) are included below. I hope you enjoy them as much as the simpering manchildren who made them did.

Melted Clocks

Spawned from MSPaint Boredom, paint a more suitable face for Pikachu using this template:

Here is the one I made:


Depressing Drawers


More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.