Dan the Animal Man - Carries around a satchel full of tiny vials of exotic animal pheremones which he sprays on Snoop Dogg at the Zoo to give other patrons the illusion that he is a natural 'Beastmaster', beloved by all animals.
Seanald "TV Man" Hayes - snoop is getting too old to understand the developing tech of tv and he has this cool black guy in a jacket & indoor sunglasses who handles all the component stuff and hookup cords, snoop brings him out at live concerts and says "This right here is my boy, thats my tv man right there, much love"
Comedy Central's Greg Giraldo - briefly hired to personally roast snoop after every show on the tour after snoop saw the roast of david spade uncensored on comedy central at 2 am. killed in 2011 during altercation over joke about Seanald "TV Man" Hayes and circuit city's liquidation
FLAMERS IN CAHOOTS
Stink Bitch - always carrying an extra glade plug in just in case
Cyril Latrine - Steward. Basically keeps the "throne" warm. basically sits on the toilet in the mens bath room for hte duration of opf a live performance so that if snoop dogg needs to take a shit after wards then the toielt seat will be warm
FLAMERS IN CAHOOTS
Big Stall - stands in front of the stall door so no one can peak through the cracks to watch Snoop wipe
Arthur Jewboy [Not Real Name] - Harvard grad attorney kept on staff to present snoop with positive graph images that feature huge dollar signs on an incline line peppered with small stickers of snoop's smiling face, which are made independently by Jeffrey "Sticker Man" Stickerman
The TRolley Twins - whenever snoop dogg rolls a really long joint because the the vibe called for it or whatavever it is that compels drug people to do this kind of crap then they sit next to each other on the floor and hold it up while he smokes the entire thing
Cedric "Mr Meme" Green - PR man in charge of making sure there's no negative memes online about snoop dogg, notable for floating the "you might be snoop if.." and "Snoop is the shit, thats it" catchphrases on the g4 forums
Juan Ramón Jiménez - displaced soul of dead spanish poet forced to hang out with snoop dogg and his posse for eternity due to his actions during the spanish civil war. humiliatingly forced to masquerade as dead rapper tupac for coachella '12
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.