When people ask you what you do for a living at a family reunion or a cocktail party or during court proceedings, they want your description to be concise and interesting! As practice for the constant social interaction to which they're accustomed, members of the SA Forums started describing their workdays in seven words or less. For example, I might say something like "Compiles jokes and Photoshops other people made," or "Puts up with Shmorky the human cartoon." It's like the "Drunken Memories" Goldmine, except this time the Goons prove they work as hard as they play!
Cornbinks
I outfit rednecks with camouflage.
Beasteh
I sell chav clothes to horrid chavs
cactuscarpet
I translate iPad games no one plays.
Pharmaskittle
Watch boss run startup into the ground.
Ronco Showtime
Getting websites to work in IE7. Awful.
blugu64
Your stored procedure is a piece of
The Dregs
Put your TV on channel 3, Grandma.
h210679
That's not the address bar, that's Google.
thrill fuckers
Running reds, killing peds, asshole bike messenger
It's time to get a new TV. Your old one was made like two years ago, and so much has changed. You might as well be looking at a dinosaur's butthole. Why would you keep doing that, when you could be looking at a robot's butthole?
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.