When people ask you what you do for a living at a family reunion or a cocktail party or during court proceedings, they want your description to be concise and interesting! As practice for the constant social interaction to which they're accustomed, members of the SA Forums started describing their workdays in seven words or less. For example, I might say something like "Compiles jokes and Photoshops other people made," or "Puts up with Shmorky the human cartoon." It's like the "Drunken Memories" Goldmine, except this time the Goons prove they work as hard as they play!
I outfit rednecks with camouflage.
I sell chav clothes to horrid chavs
I translate iPad games no one plays.
Watch boss run startup into the ground.
Getting websites to work in IE7. Awful.
Your stored procedure is a piece of
Put your TV on channel 3, Grandma.
That's not the address bar, that's Google.
Running reds, killing peds, asshole bike messenger
If you get these jokes, you KNOW you're smart!
"For all my education, accomplishments, and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own datajack."
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.